Love Story_Part 4

I can't sleep last night. The anxiety runs through  my veins which kept my heart to beat like crazy. I've been thinking the whole night long about what might happen this becoming morning. Happy? Fear? But fear for what? Excited? Seems too extreme to begin with. Or maybe, the day has finally came? Unbelievable. Where is the cool side of me? Gone into hiding I suppose. Its 4 am in the morning. Finally, I gave up on sleeping. I went to the shower to cool my head of.  Shiro is still sound asleep next to my bed. I hope the balcony's light didn't wake her up.



Even my steps feel heavy. Luckily, there is no morning class today. I took a shower and wudhu so that I could perform my prayer later at 6 am. Whenever I feel anxious, my stomach will always have this uneasy feeling like a frost bite. It feels so cold and the muscles stretch out all the way around. I think I'm gonna be sick. Somehow, every time I glanced at the time, half an hour passed. Too quick! Time has no mercy today. Then I perform my Subh prayer and Alhamdulillah, I felt at ease a little bit.

It is already 7.45 o'clock. I went to Sheila's room. I sat there watching her getting ready. I asked her to accompany me to see Adrian. She is a genius yet she knew how to have fun, Some say that geniuses only knows logic and boring stuffs. It is true to Sheila a little bit since she says that reading a Calculus book; if you may consider calling it as reading, is like reading a comic book. She sure is the best at bursting out weird joke and creating awkward silence. Yet, she is one of the kindest person I've ever known.

We went to the agreed place of meeting. From afar, I could see Adrian and his friend ordering some food for breakfast. We approached them and exchanged greetings. Awkwardly, of course! He offered to buy us breakfast and I softly refused him. We grab a seat while waiting for our orders. I smiled at Adrian. He replied. And now~~~ silence...

I started to ask him about his purpose although I am positively sure about what he was going to talk about. I guess, I'm just good at pretending not to know things. I am terribly good at reading people and I enjoyed doing so. But not today. I stared right onto Adrian's eyes.

"Please don't stare at me like that. It's embarrassing," Adrian said.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I just got used to stare on the other's eye while talking. I won't do it again if it makes you feel uncomfortable," I replied.

"No, its not that. I just feel nervous every time I saw you especially right this moment."

"Okay, then. Please do take your time."

Our meals were ready and I suggested that we ate first. Everyone agreed. Nobody was talking and the air is more tensed than ever. A while later, Adrian looked at me and said,

"I was thinking of taking your hand in marriage."

Just as I thought. The day has finally arrived.

"The moment that I saw you 5 years ago, I got this mysterious feeling to get to know you. It took me a while to get near you since I never found the chance to talk to you. Until, one time I have the opportunity."

This conversation has starting to grow serious. My heart have never been beating this fast before. I listened to every bit of his words trying to understand him.

"At the end of the Physics class, I saw you trying to hand in your quiz answer. And then, your papers dropped all over the floor and my body suddenly walked towards you. I collected the last paper and hand it over to you. You smiled and said thank you."

Now I feel it. My chest hurts too much now. Just like the Korean dramas, this situation seems like one of the confession scenes that I have ever dream of.

"That moment, I have fell in love with you. Do you... Do you remember?"

Adrian suddenly asked me and honestly, I could not recall. I shook my head. The reason is, I always forgot almost everything that happened last semester whenever I came back from a long break. More like short term memory. There is a slight melancholy on his face and I feel a little bit sad about it. I am happy that he feels that way to me and I have never been confessed like this my entire life.

"Why do you like me Adrian?" I asked.

"I... I don't know. I just did. Even when I confessed to you 4 years ago, I have been thinking of marrying you. But you rejected me and I got emotional breakdown that time."

"I'm sorry. I didn't know it hurts you so much."

"It's okay. I have never give up though. That is why, I decided to try again since my friend here supported my decision," he glanced at Fred.

Fred is his best friend that have been there for him through ups and downs.

"But I still don't have your answer Adrian. Why me?"

"I want you, Wendy. I accepted to just the way you are. No matter what."

I am happy but I don't think that is the answer that I was looking for. I have a feeling that he did not know me that well to even accepted me for who I am. I just can't.