"That is still not the answer that I was looking for, Adrian."
"Why not? You are beautiful Wendy! No man would not want to not have you," Fred interrupts.
I turned my back on Adrian and tried to catch my breath. I'm trying to avoid him from seeing my face which has totally blushed. It's hot! I'm embarrassed! Sheila's been watching the whole time. She just smiled and observing. She held my hand and tried to calm me down. I appreciated what she had done cause that is totally what I need most at that moment.
"Are you crying? Why do you turned your back on us?" Fred asked.
I faced Adrian and our eyes locked on each other's. I hope he did not saw that. Then, I remembered what Red had told me about being honest to my feelings and towards Adrian.
"I never thought that I would say this but Adrian, I need you to listen. For now, I have more than one person nested in my heart. I hope you understand. It is hard for me since I need to choose only one out of the three."
Adrian's expression quickly shows his inside. He was shocked that Wendy could have love someone else. To top it all, more than ONE!
Am I joking? No! I am speaking up the truth. I don't want to hurt his feelings thus for my honesty in everything I said. He is disappointed I believe. I knew this would happen but its better now than never. He was too good to be true. Like any other girls, I have my perfect 10 list as well. And fortunately, Adrian has all of them. =)
- Religious view
- Korean look
- Have stable economic condition (not necessarily rich)
- Able to play musical instruments (esp Guitar and Piano)
- Arrogant yet sweet
- Have a nice appearance
- Able to surprise me at times
- Doesn't judge me by the looks (a little bit selfish here since I'm asking for Korean look as well)
- Respecting other people (especially his parents and my family)
- Smarter than me (This will be a plus though)
Then what am I hesitating for? I guess I forgot to list out the other most important thing in the list which is LOVE. I thought that feelings could come last but I am not old fashioned. I do need to get to know him before spending my entire life In syaa Allah with the one that I'm destined to. Mister red string of mine. How can I be so sure?
"Adrian, thank you for meeting me like this and also the sweet proposal. But, I too, need some time to think about this before I give my answer. Could you wait for several more days? I need to talk to my family as well."
"Please! Do take your time. Whatever your answer might be, I'll try to cope with that." Adrian's tone do expressed the mixed feelings of his. Sadness, anxious yet calm, relief and HOPE.
I took my leave with Sheila. I end the conversation with a warm smile to Adrian. I was sure that he watched me leave until I'm no longer in his sight. I didn't bother to look back and kept walking until we reached my room. I was still caught in disbelief. My hand already dialed my mother's cellphone.
"Ma, he proposed. What should I do?" I gathered all my courage to explain every details to my mother.
"How do you feel?" her voice is like music to my ears. Always managed to calm me down and clear my thought.
"I don't know, Ma. I'm afraid if I make the wrong choices."
"You know right? Whenever you're at the end of a rod which have two pathways, you can never turn back. Keep moving forward. Choose. But if you failed to do so, always come back to Allah. Babah also remind you to always perform istikharah when you want to make decisions, right?"
"Thanks a lot, Ma. I'll call you back. Bye."
I have been thinking a while and the reason I am so afraid of this is because he is the ONE. I know its him that my heart been longing for all this time. I was too terrified to hurt his heart. Not now!
Adrian cannot seem to wait for the day to come. The day that he'll receive Wendy's answer. She might say yes or the other frightening word NO! But he could finally sleep that night with ease. Like a huge burden has been lifted from his chest.
"Thank you Allah for giving me the courage to confess to her." Adrian mumbles to himself and slowly fell asleep.
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